To my first baby:
Today you start kindergarten. My heart bursts with excitement for you while also feeling like it is being torn straight from my chest. Staying home with you has been the best, yet most challenging five years of my life. I will treasure the big moments I got to witness and every small moment in between. Today, though, I will walk you to school, hold you tight, then let go and a part of me will walk into school. I am not ready, but you are.
This is not my journey. It is yours. And after five years with you, this is what I know:
You are brave. You do not like new and different things, but you work hard to overcome your fears. Kindergarten is a big change, but I know you are brave enough to tackle this new challenge.
You are ready to learn. Your curiosity and deep questions constantly amaze me. You have a natural desire to learn more that will only grow as you go to school.
You are kind. You may push your siblings’ buttons, but I see you holding their hands at the park. I see you encouraging them to try new things. I see you teaching and protecting them.
You have a sensitive heart. Don’t ever let anyone tell you sensitivity is a weakness. Your big feelings will allow you to empathize with others and connect to other humans around you.
You are artistic. When you get overwhelmed or sad or angry, I hope you turn to your art. You have a natural eye for art, and it is a great outlet for you.
You are all these things and so much more.
It is possible to feel multiple emotions at once. While I am struggling to let you go, I am also so proud of you. I am so excited to see what your future holds. You will do great things. Now go, brave boy, and see what this world has in store for you. And remember, I will always be right here when you need a safe place to land.
All my love,
To my first baby: